When we get married to someone, we intend to love them until ‘death do us part’. This is why when it comes time to decide if it’s time to separate from your spouse, it can be emotionally devastating. The decision isn’t always obvious for people to make though. You may be telling yourself that you’re ‘just going through a rough patch’ and that things will eventually get better soon – which is possible. But how do you know when to make the call? What are the signs that you have truly fallen out of love with your spouse? If you’re feeling this way, is divorce really the only option?
Telltale signs that your relationship may be struggling
People fall out of love in many ways. It’s hard to decipher just a few ways you may be currently feeling in your marriage, but a few common signs include:
- You feel isolated in your marriage
- You are constantly second-guessing yourself
- You’re constantly reflecting on different times in your marriage when you should have left
- You’re lying to others about the happiness in your marriage
- You feel like nothing you do is good enough
- There is a lack of communication between you and your partner
- You don’t care anymore
- You don’t have respect for each other anymore
- You feel like you’re living with a roommate instead of your soulmate
Another way to think about it is to ask yourself whether you want to live out the rest of your days together? When the kids are grown up and you are both retired, do you look forward to spending all your time together?
These signs come in many shapes and forms, and some are more obvious than others. It is very important to note that if there are signs of abuse in your marriage – either physical or psychological – that it is time to divorce your partner or at the very least talk to someone about the issues you are experiencing. If you or someone you know is currently in an abusive relationship, please refer to these resources provided by the Government of Ontario. Your safety should never be in the balance of maintaining any relationship.
So, is divorce the only option? The short answer is no.
A marriage with a few problems doesn’t necessarily mean it’s over. You may start by having unsure feelings about whether to leave your partner or not in which case there is possibly a chance of being able to save your marriage. The first step is openly discussing with your partner how they are feeling in the marriage and to decide what steps you should take next. There is always marriage counselling and couples therapy which can help many married couples sort out their problems. Often the first step towards marriage counselling is individual counselling sought out by one or both of the individuals on their own terms, on their own time initially.
The bottom line of it all is that you need to trust your gut. If you no longer feel safe in your marriage, then it’s time to separate. But if you believe that there is a fighting chance for you and your partner to work out the issues at hand, that is a chance worth taking for you to save your marriage.
Frankly, I don’t think it makes sense to spend your life in a bad relationship. Either fix it or end it. Life is too short.
If you believe it is time for you to divorce your spouse, or you have legal questions about the separation process without or without children, we can help you at Galbraith Family Law. We have seen it all when it comes to divorce, and we deeply understand what you are going through. Divorcing someone is never easy, but with our experienced divorce lawyers there to support you throughout the process and to answer any questions you might have, your experience will be less stressful. To set up a consultation, please give our office a call and speak to one of our client care team members. Our entire team is committed to providing you with the best service and care to make the divorce process as quick and as painless as possible for you.